clinging onto a shred of hope

The mention of people dropping out of the race just made my heart grow cold today.

After being in Hope for close to 8 years, I don’t even dare to count the number of leaders I’ve witnessed leaving God. I’ve served with some of you very closely and I’ve even cried over the way you broke God’s heart.

(And you dear, I’ve been worrying about you for the past month. Your blog speaks volumes about your current state. What can I do but pray?)

There are times where I even get angry when people leave. It’s as though nothing matters. Don’t you care that I care? Don’t you realise that you are severing something that binds us? Doesn’t this friendship matter to you?

To be honest, I’ve grown somewhat cynical towards promises that people tell me and I know that there is absolutely no guarantee that one will last the race.

It’s painful to first run with people in a particular leg of the marathon together and then watch them give in to (insert problem here) when they need to take another route that is different from yours. They are deaf to your cheers, your pleas and even your reminders of God’s goodness / grace / mercy / love.

I cling onto the knowledge that God himself searches for His runaway sheep.

Ezekiel 34:11

For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them.