would you?

Warning: Rambling and incoherent entry ahead.

There was this particular Saturday in secondary school that I lost my wallet right before service. You bet I was devastated. But I decided to be joyful, jump and praise God anyway. One of my sheep (a rather rebellious one) text-ed me that night to say that she learnt a great deal from my actions.

I gave myself a little pat on the back.

During P&W today, I was all hyped up and singing to Him with a heart of thanksgiving. God asked me there and then, “Would you do the same for me if things weren’t going your way?” I was speechless for a moment, before reminding God of how I praised Him in the midst of the missing wallet saga.

Upon further reflection now, I realise the foolishness of my answer. Being exuberant in praise and worship is great, but surely joy is not measured by the height of your jump? What good is it, if I sang at the top of my voice and yet my heart was grumbling inside? Or worse, if the words that come out of my mouth (after P&W ends) speak volumes about negativity within!

Being joyful in face of difficulties is a real challenge. And I think I have so much to grow in when it comes to this area. I don’t want my joy to be mere outward expression alone. Smiles, dancing and a cheerful deposition need to overflow from a joyful spirit.

To your question, God? I’ll try. (:

Sidenote: I visited my ex-caregroup’s blog and I am so encouraged to see the vibrancy of the community there. Keep the fire going, juniors. (: